From Impact to Hope: How to Accompany Our Emotions

When we experience a major life event, losses can leave a deep void. In these circumstances, it is common to experience what is known as post-traumatic stress, which can cause our bodies to remain in a state of hyperactivation, with constant worry and intense fear. All of this deregulates our emotions and can manifest as anxiety about what happened, about what we feel, and about what we believe may happen.

Anxiety is the most common and universal of emotions. It is a reaction of tension, without apparent cause, more diffuse and less focused than fears. It is important to understand that anxiety is a normal sensation or emotional state in certain situations and that it constitutes a usual response to different stressful everyday situations, but when it appears after a traumatic event, we need to help ourselves control it.

Anxiety tests our emotional regulation skills, which is the ability to manage and balance both negative and positive emotions.

Both types of emotions contribute to personal development and coexistence. They are activated by our thoughts, lived experiences, memories, and various stimuli. The complementarity and proportionality between positive and negative emotions form the foundation for problem-solving, maintaining healthy relationships, and strengthening resilience.

Negative emotions, such as fear, sadness, anger, guilt, or shame, are not «bad»; they are adaptive responses to threats or dangers. However, when they persist over time, they reduce our range of responses and promote pessimistic thinking, creating a «downward spiral.» Their function is to detect threats, mobilize action, and coordinate our relationships.

In contrast, and as a necessary complement, positive emotions such as joy, serenity, interest, pride, amusement, inspiration, and wonder help to minimize and resize the impact of negative emotions, acting as true «buffers.» They are the key ingredient for recovery and subsequent flourishing, while always maintaining contact with reality. While negative emotions alert us and narrow our focus of attention, positive ones broaden our perspective and foster the construction of solutions.

In the days following a traumatic event, when the emotional impact is raw, it is crucial to recognize our own reactions to different stimuli, identify and manage negative emotions, and at the same time, try to generate positive emotions through small pleasant moments or by recalling significant memories. All of this will help us plan our day-to-day activities and gradually regain hope and our life project.

Here are some recommendations for moving from impact to hope:

• Foster your secure and supportive social connections, as having support reduces the risk of continued anxiety associated with the event you experienced. Try to share a moment with others daily.
• Practice daily gratitude. For example, keep a brief journal of three significant things that happened during the day. This exercise helps counteract the tendency to focus attention solely on threats.
• Foster hope through small, achievable goals that allow you to regain a daily routine. Having a sense of direction reduces feelings of helplessness and promotes healthier coping.
• Identify your personal strengths and use them intentionally in daily activities, both to take care of yourself and to help others.
• Incorporate brief breathing, relaxation, and emotional regulation exercises as part of your self-care, especially when the feeling of hyperactivation is intense.
• It favors activities with meaning, purpose, and commitment. Well-being does not depend solely on reducing symptoms, but also on rebuilding a valuable and meaningful life.
• Moderate your news consumption and identify moments of mental rumination. Replace them with self-care activities such as walking, visiting a loved one, cooking, or doing something you enjoy.

As a final approach, remember that life is a permanent challenge, to continuously develop our resources to become increasingly resilient, as well as to build an appreciative attitude towards all the personal and relational resources we have.

Dr. Maria Elena Garassini